Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
