i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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