No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize