Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
