I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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