I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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