dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Having a random hookup so left but love u
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
