My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
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Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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