sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
