Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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