At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?