Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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