I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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