we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
