I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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