There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
