we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
