I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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