New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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