I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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