i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
