I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
