Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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