i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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