3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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