All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize