Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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