I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
