check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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