What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
