But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
