Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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