worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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