doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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