you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize