i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize