i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
