gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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