dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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