I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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