after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
