check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
