i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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