Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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