I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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