He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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