spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I didn't notice because vodka
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
