Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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