You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
