i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
