I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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