May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
a search helicopter?!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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