Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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