Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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