you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
