Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
